Saying it before the time comes
by Altega
Summary: If you knew tomorrow you were going to die, would you leave everything unsaid?
1. In Space

Garrus stopped speaking as he felt Shepard's smooth skin against his scars. He looked down at her and saw her gentle face staring back up at him. Slowly, he bent forward and felt his heart flutter as she did the same.

Her red hair tickled his scales, while her fresh scent entered his nose. Warm, light with soft undertones of an alpine smell. Agonizingly slowly he lifted his left hand to cup her cheek. Yet again his heart fluttered as she nuzzled into his hand. He felt himself purr as he softly nuzzled her forehead and brought up his other hand to her face.

He blinked when he felt her soft hands over his gloved ones. He looked at her emerald eyes, trying to understand what she was doing. Slowly she stepped back. He felt his heart briefly stop, before he felt her softly tug his hands still held firmly in her own. His mandibles flared slightly as she guided him to the couch in her cabin.

Slowly they settled down and seemed lost in each others eyes, unsure what to do or how to continue. Garrus made to bring his head forward, the same time Jane did. They stopped, smiled and then brought their foreheads back together again.

Garrus trilled softly in his sub harmonics as he gently nuzzled his forehead against hers, her smell was slowly eroding his sense of self-doubt and fear. He felt her hands move behind her head as she gently pulled something out of her hair. He watched as her hair fell out of the bun she normally held it in.

He knew that she normally had her hair held up in a bun as was military standard, but seeing it as it was now, he couldn't understand why. He softly threaded his hand into her red strands and gently ran them through the mass. He could only compare it to the human item known as silk, it felt unbelievably soft. From the look on her face, Garrus knew she enjoyed his touch as much as he enjoyed feeling it.

Slowly he brought his head back to hers again, this time he felt his primal instincts guiding him. His face went past her forehead, much to her surprise and his nose burrowed into the nape of her neck. He felt her gasp then moan softly, as he nuzzled again. Slowly her pheromones wafted up his nose and he felt his primal half growl, it seemed even if the scent came from an alien female, his primal instincts still surfaced. Though calling Jane an alien left a bad taste in his mouth. She was as much Turian as he was. She was as much his other half as he was hers. No Shepard without Vakarian after all.

He hissed softly as he felt a small Mass Effect field around his fringe. He'd almost forgotten that she was a biotic, as he felt her softly concentrate her biotics on the softer plates. He felt his control wither more and more. He growled, loudly this time, and pulled back before pulling her shirt off, almost ripping it apart, though he seriously doubted she'd care for the Cerberus logo on it's sleeves.

He dove again at her shoulder and pressed against her bare skin, inhaling like a man deprived of breathing, and suddenly finding themselves able to. He didn't even realize he nipped at her skin until he felt her tense. He looked down and saw the red and chalky like marks against her pale skin, her breathing had become more rapid and he worried that he'd moved too fast.

He watched and waited. She kept her head down, her hair making a curtain between him and her. He wanted so very much to push that curtain aside and look into her eyes, and beg her forgiveness but something was keeping him in check.

Slowly he watched her tuck up her legs and felt himself sink inside. She fiddled with the ties on the leather and made to pull it off, he beat her to it and gently pulled it off her foot. She seemed to freeze again, but she recovered faster this time, as she did the same with the other boot and Garrus followed suite.

She sat there for a good few minutes, Garrus looked at that curtain keeping her safe, as he felt he should leave. He got up, and had just turned around to the door when he felt his visor float off his face.

He turned and saw it slowly drop into her hand. She set it down on the table and stood up.

To the end of his days, Garrus couldn't describe a more wondrous sight. Against the backdrop of the stars shining through the window above her fiery red hair was unbound and wild, while her green eyes positively glowed like emeralds with such emotion he stayed glued to the spot. She slowly walked up to him, her black top teasing him glances at her shoulders, the white cargo pants she was wearing already sliding down past her hips bit by bit as she stopped in front of him.

His breath hitched, as she reached up, grabbed his face and gently pulled him down to her and pressed her lips against his own. He felt his blood reheat in an instant.

He felt himself surging forward, until they were stopped by the wall. Her soft lips and tongue heating his blood beyond belief. He lifted her up a foot off the ground holding her arms in place as he began to move past her mouth to her shoulder again.

This time he paused, licked her skin with his blue-black tinged tongue, before firmly nipping her again. She tensed again, but slowly melted against him as he felt her legs wrap around his waist.

He altered nipping and licking her shoulders as he pulled her black tanktop away to reveal a strange white lacey creation underneath that. Bra he thought it was called. But right now it was keeping him from something he wanted, before Jane could say anything he'd already torn it off and rubbed his head against her bare skin. Her legs around him tightened, and she gently pushed off and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Garrus felt her scent overpowering everything within him, instinctually he knew she was ready. He walked them over to her bed and he softly eased her down as she reclaimed his mouth.

He softly pulled away and shed his clothes as she settled herself cross-legged on her bed, watching him with a promise of what to come like a Spirit sent to him from his home, before climbing on top of her and possessively biting her neck again.

He didn't even feel her biotics that time as she easily flipped their positions. She shed her remaining clothes, grinding pleasantly against him, as she removed her pants, but kept her lower underwear on. He growled and felt his plates shift as his sensitive skin pressed against her white lace.

She looked down and blushed, her freckles almost vanishing with the hue of color. She gently eased herself down and kissed the flesh, nipping it occasionally, then enclosing it between her breasts, and massaging it softly.

Garrus hissed loudly this time. She looked up, startled and slowly dragged herself up to his face. Her hair curtaining them both as they kissed. Garrus tore open her lace again as he felt his instinct override everything else.

Jane gasped as she felt him sheath himself inside of her to the hilt. She panted heavily as she felt him begin to thrust upward and roll his hips as gently as possible and give her a chance to adjust to him.

She was soon riding him fast and hard as he went even deeper inside of her if that was possible. Soon they both cried out in ecstasy as they came to their peak. She gasped heavily as she eased herself down on top of him.

Garrus was trilling loudly as he felt her sweat slicked form settle on top of him, as she nuzzled into his heartbeat. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, as he ran his hand through her hair again.

Slowly he woke in warm sunshine and found himself looking around. Wherever he was it was perfectly warm in the tropical sense of the word. He got up and immediately felt something collide into his legs. He looked down and froze at what he saw. It was a tiny Turian girl, but what drew him in were her vibrant green eyes. There wasn't the usual reptilian slit in the green, no her eyes were round...like a human. She suddenly turned and ran off into the tall grass on the hill above him.

He slowly moved up the hill in time to see the tiny girl, arms out wide and mandibles flared in a happy smile as she was being held by Jane. He thought she looked beautiful before, now she just looked ethereal. Her hair reached her waist now and was braided in some strange fashion, she wore casual clothing as best as he could think of, of course what was drawing his attention more was her middle. She had to be at least a few months pregnant. He didn't know what to think.

Suddenly he realized she was staring at him, they both were. His throat tightened more as he saw they were wearing his colony marks. The little girl waved at him with all the wild energy only a child could have. Jane just blew him a kiss then winked at him roguishly.

Garrus blinked his eyes open and looked down at his chest. She was still there, asleep and glowing from their lovemaking. Tenderly he stroked her hair with his claws and looked up at the stars. They'd be arriving soon. But he didn't have to move, not yet. He wanted to savor the moment as well as the dream. He stroked her hair again as he looked down at her. She murmured something softly, before smiling and nuzzling his chest more. He smiled at her.

"May the Spirits grant me that dream."


	2. At Sea

Jane hummed tunelessly to herself as she tapped the appropriate key settings for standby testing phase, before stopping when she caught her reflection staring back at her. Then just like in the Drift she felt her mind pull her along for the ride.

She'd been born to a pair of Jaeger pilots shortly after Humanity pushed the dreaded Precursors out of their hellhole in the Pacific and ended their staging grounds for Kaiju breaches permanently. Humanity celebrated for a whole year both the destruction of the Anteverse and the constructive future they as Humans could now look forward to.

All that changed the day Jane turned 7 years old.

What was initially passed off as comets by deep space sound posts, were actually in fact alien ships of varying make and design. Naturally after the K-War, humans were a tad more weary when it came to other beings.

The first ship landed in Sydney. Almost within shouting or shooting distance of the PPDC Global Headquarters. The new General Secretary of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps had the new Marshal mobilize Jaeger crews on standby in the Shatterdome, and at least one submerged underwater and ready to act if need be. Calm as could be he walked out with a small ring of soldiers surrounding him.

When they came out of the ship it was to be expected that they were hesitant, they met Secretary Lambert's entourage man to alien. A pair looked like dinosaurs or lizards, while the third had the beautiful figure of a woman, except she had blue skin and a sort of tentacle head.

It took several stumbling attempts, but with help from the lizard-like one, later learned to be a Salarian, they were talking with one another fluently, and the tale they told was one of world shattering news.

When Humanity pushed the Precursors out, they had no idea they were actually creating a vacuum to spread their war to other worlds. The Asari home world fell first, followed by the Turians, and Salarian in quick succession 19 months later, when their Home worlds became ash, the colonies fell, just as swiftly.

According to them, they were the leading races, and once they caved the other worlds didn't even stand a chance. Countless other species were now nothing but memories and data entries. The remaining three races had gathered all they could, moving those too ill or old onto a grand space station called the Citadel, and ferried their people to a weak signal from this seemingly untouched Eden.

After much talk, an agreement was reached. Humanity would help them and in exchange they would give them access to their technology. The three leaders looked skeptical, until Secretary Lambert ordered the Jaeger on standby to surface.

He had then turned to their stunned faces and said the words which would later define all of humanity; "We know how to rise to the challenge."

Jane was 7 years old when the Visitors came. Now here she was 20 years later, about to become very close to one.

'Second pilot inbound to bridge.'

The A.I. chirped, as Jane looked at her reflection one last time. She was good looking in her opinion, and she wasn't being vain about it either; her dark skin reflected her proud Indian heritage, while her olive green-blue eyes could be just as warm as they could be cold. She was small, but curvy and filled out in all the right places as her proud grandmother used to say, while the only thing off that could be said of Jane Shepard was that she always kept her raven hair cut to an almost skin level, and that it was bleached.

She huffed as she fitted on her helmet and let the left hemisphere Cradle lock and sync to her suit, as she made some last minute tweaks to her suit.

'Second pilot on the bridge.'

Jane turned and almost craned her neck up to meet the reptilian eyes of her partner; freshly minted Ranger and survivor of his home world's destruction: Garrus Vakarian.

"You ready to step inside my head big guy?"

He turned and gave her a look.

"What?"

She snorted and adjusted her helmet absently.

"Idiom."

She said shortly. She watched as he did the same, and their comm clicked on.

"Pilots, this is Senior Ranger Namani, stand by for drop."

Jane sighed and leaned back, glancing over at Garrus and snickering softly as he seemed to be bracing. They dropped and she had to laugh as he tried to can his yell. How they got discovered as Drift Compatible was a hilarious story.

Before being tapped to be a Ranger, Jane had been 'the' Kwoon instructor in her early twenties. Top in class and promoted to an officer position, responsible for the newer instructors. Under her tutelage, the Rangers became better than they had been in their heyday. Then her Shatterdome began to receive the first non-human Cadets and that's when she first met Garrus Vakarian.

She had been doing her daily meditation when she heard her new class come in. She smirked at hearing a very audible curse. Jane had herself balanced on her hands, arms fully extended and the rest of her body horizontally level and off the ground as she had the combat drones spinning around her. When one came close to her, she snapped up, and using her staff knocked them offline. She turned and slammed the end down into the mat with a resounding 'thump' as she faced them.

The drones retreated to their slots in the wall as she stepped forward to inspect her students. A mix of Asari and Turian males and females, no Salarians. Not that she expected any, they filled the PPDC in other functions, they couldn't handle Ranger trainings, still that cut down on recruits. Expectantly the Turians snapped to attention as did a few of the Asari as she approached.

"Who's first?"

Surprisingly, one stepped forward, much to the shock of the students, and the female beside him. She caught the color of their marks, siblings? Mates maybe?

"Cadet Vakarian, I'll go first."

Jane just raised an eyebrow, and swiftly brought up her stick between his legs, followed by a loud wheezing gasp as he fell down. She bent to help him up, which he took.

'Second mistake big guy.'

She yanked back with her left and slammed her right open palm to his jaw.

"First rule of combat."

She said as she bent down and the rest of the class looked on in sympathy.

"Your enemy isn't going to tell you when they strike, and they won't fight fair."

The kick of her legs out from under her and the roll Vakarian pulled was impressive. She'd given him an opening and he hadn't disappointed her. Now she had a fight.

She took the energy from her fall and pushed herself up into a spinning fly kick. He barely had time to set his stance. A drawback, but even fine steel was once raw ore. She spun her staff before slapping it to the ready behind her arm. He seemed to hesitate.

"Well c'mon then Cadet. Impress me."

His response, had her arch a brow at him again.

"Am I the only one finding this unfair that you have the staff and I don't."

She gave him the faintest trace of a smile as she spoke evenly.

"Are you or are you not a Ranger Cadet?"

He seemed taken aback, and watched her as she circled him. His stance never relaxing. She glowered at him briefly expecting him to have a snappy retort. Evidently his train of thought was still boarding the station. Time to expedite this.

"I SAID; ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT A RANGER CADET?"

He snapped to immediately.

"I AM A RANGER CADET MA'AM."

She stopped in front of him.

"Then grow another pair and wise up. What are you going to do when your Jaeger fails, and all you have are your fists? I certainly hope you're not going to ask a Kaiju to dance with your stiff legs."

Several students fought and lost the battle to keep their composure. She immediately leveled a mad eye stare at the lot and they shut up. She breathed evenly as she walked around them.

"I don't care who you are, I don't care what you think you know, I don't care who you lost, because all that matters now to me the most is making sure what I teach to you sticks, and keeps you alive!"

The room went icy quiet.

"Do you understand?"

Her response was loud and prompt.

"MA'AM, YES MA'AM."

She turned to Vakarian, he seemed to have a stare fixed on her she couldn't place. She recognized it from Shrinks. The last thing she wanted was him nosing where she didn't want him to. She brought the end of her staff within an inch of his face, which seemed to shock him out of his stupor. He looked back at her, and she was surprised to feel her heart tremble. She hated this feeling, being vulnerable. She was the rock for everyone, how would they see it if they knew her?

"Back to the line Cadet."

He nodded at her whispered order and retreated.

It went on like this, the class would muster promptly at 0500, she'd have them changed out and on the line by 0515, then she'd have a volunteer replay the moves from the last lesson and they'd review that until 0600. Jane then had them break for water, and report back after the allotted minute was up, then they'd roll into their next lesson until 0700, after which they were dismissed and she began to do the unsavory task of paperwork.

Of course this tended to make her late to her own quarters at night, so she'd cut through the enlisted barracks and catch the occasional whisper when they thought the halls were empty at night as she easily passed by their barracks.

"Psychotic bitch."

"What is it the Human's say? 'Hard-Ass.'"

"This is a nightmare. A freakin' nightmare. Wake me up, Mama, please!"

"What?"

"Classical movie Blue Girl. Look it up."

Same as any other group she ever had.

"What's her story?"

That made her pause. Garrus?

"Who's?"

"Hers, who else?"

There was a solid beat of silence.

"Why in the name o-"

The door opened loudly, all the Cadets turned and froze, before snapping to attention.

There was Instructor Shepard in all her fury.

"Well?"

Jane's question was answered with silence.

"That's what I thought."

She turned to Garrus, and gestured for him to follow. She started heading to the Jaeger bays, she didn't have long to wait until she heard his footsteps behind her. They soon walked out onto one of the gantry ways. They stood there watching the night crews working away on the Jaegers. To this day Jane didn't understand what happened between them when they saw the skeletal superstructure of Normandy Blue, but she knew one thing that settled between them, a sort of silent agreement.

'You want to know me? Be a Jaeger Pilot.'

From then on it became routine for them to watch Normandy built, and she also took note that he was volunteering more often than not, and was quickly establishing himself as the leader of the class.

Soon she found herself along with Vakarian applying for Jaeger Pilot positions. With her record, and Garrus's scores it didn't take long for them to hear they'd been tapped.

Which brought them to now as the conn-pod completed its locking procedure. Jane breathed deeply as she waited.

"You ok?"

She looked at Garrus, and gave a steady stare as she whispered the softest reply.

"Guess we'll see in a minute."

Comms clicked on again.

"Rangers, this is Marshal Jake Pentecost, standby for neural handshake."

Jane closed her eyes and exhaled out her mouth as the Drift opened up before her like an endless horizon. Then images became clear. A father teaching his son to shoot, that son playing with a tiny girl, a Kaiju roaring as it made landfall, and crushed the child's dwelling, and his mother, next it was the father again in a sick bed, while his son and daughter held either hand, then the memories had her in them, before they became hers.

All alone, no parents, no family, just the Shatterdome and a broken heart to keep her company as her parents marched on. Her breath hitched as they flew by a memory she held of Samantha, but Garrus helped her hold on to the present and the Drift swept her former fiancé away, leaving her more alone. Yet, as her face faded away into the infinite, she felt oddly free.

Then in a snap they both were awake, and more alive than ever before. They turned to each other.

'Left hemisphere, calibrating.'

The A.I. announced in its dull tone.

'Right hemisphere, calibrating.'

Jane raised the Jaeger's right arm and slammed it into the open palm of Garrus's left.

'Pilots ready to connect.'

Jane and Garrus raised their arms and pumped them forward, synchronizing their motions, and binding them closer together within the Drift.

'Two Pilots engaged in Neural Bridge. Ready to activate the Jaeger in 3...2... Launch.'

Jane breathed as she felt the memories threaten to swell over her. She jolted as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"No Shepard-"

In spite of everything, she smiled.

"Without Vakarian."

The Drift drew them in until neither knew where one ended and the other began. They made to move and began to head out of the bay into the sunlight. Jane didn't know what the future held for her in life, but she learned one thing today. She had Garrus beside her. What did life have in store for them? She couldn't say, neither could he, but just like before there was that unspoken agreement. To quote Secretary Lambert; They now knew how to rise to the occasion.

Normandy Blue hit the waters as it took the first mixed pair of Rangers forward.


	3. On Land

Dark, why was it so dark? Then he felt himself moving. Was he flying? No that was silly. He didn't fly, well often.

"Hold-"

Why was everything sounding so tinny and distant? Was tinny even a word? Why was it 'tinny'? Why wasn't it tinnier? Or was that a word too? Ugh, his head.

"Hold on, let's get you out of here."

Here? Where was here? He had to open his eyes. That's when he realized his lungs weren't taking in enough air. He thought quickly; and by some odd ball grace of God above he smacked his chest across the sternum with his open palm.

It hurt like hell, but it got his lungs working just long enough to take in one small gulp of air.

He coughed, softly at first, but after something thick and syrupy cleared out, he bolted forward coughing and breathing like he'd never get enough.

Everything was so bright and blurry. He couldn't see at all, and his eyes were wide open. He raised his hands wildly as shapes pushed him down against something soft. He looked up as the shapes slowly became something like faces. One looked down at him and looked both surprised and determined.

"Hold on Gary, we're getting you out of here!"

There was an increased fervor in the movement around him as the other blurry faces looked at him before turning back.

Gary? Was that his name? He relaxed against the soft cotton at his back, and closed his eyes while he focused, hard, on his brain and tried to call up memories. Slowly in a trickle they came back to him. He remembered the Virginia sun on his back, racing up the mountains with his baby sister Sarah, their Mother reading to him from the bible.

"The Lord is the God that lasts forever, creator of the earth, He will not fail to be. Those who hope in the Lord will spread their wings like eagles, run and not faint. They will walk and not be afraid."

Those words seemed to catapult his spirit forward and he jerked his eyes open again, and was able to keep his breaths to shuddering gasps, as he looked up at the stars above. He thought he felt the group carrying him jerk to a sudden halt but paid no heed as he kept his gaze skyward. Slowly the stars became clearer and he could make out ships above as he willed his arm and then his hand to reach up.

It was met by a three fingered one.

He turned his eyes to the right and saw the most beautiful thing he ever saw, of course he hadn't told her she was, they'd just met after all. And Gary Vincent was raised rightly to respect women of course. He squeezed her hand with what felt to him was a weak grip as she looked down at him.

She had pale to light reddish colored scales, vibrant green eyes, and red marks adorning her face. God she was an image.

It was so strange to be holding hands with a species who wanted to kill him and the rest of Second Fleet, but here he was doing just that.

He felt something in their hands. Slowly he pulled his hand from hers and saw Sarah's picture that she had given him for good luck. He looked up at her eyes full of thankful tears.

He reached out and grabbed her hand as she made to step back. His grip must've been stronger than he expected to pull her forward just as the group moved.

"The stars."

He almost didn't even recognize his own voice, and its near willowy sound. He turned his blue tinged eyes to her, and tried to smile. He instead grimaced. Damn that hurt.

"Please."

He turned to that dual toned voice beside him as she bent closer to him. He noticed her neck and that an obviously large chunk of it was missing on the right side. Not enough to count as disabling, but enough to notice what would have been a grievous war wound. War? Was that why they were here? Were they really trying to kill each other over this place?

A name tickled at the back of his mind; Shanxi. That's where they were. He looked up again. The stars were still just as beautiful here as they were back home.

"Please."

She whispered it that time. He flicked his eyes to her. What did she think he was going to die? He let go of her hand and reached out, touching her cheek, or where it would've been.

"I ain't going anywhere yet, not till I show you the stars."

Her face did a strange fluttering motion as she stopped outside some structure. He looked around as others of her kind began helping his; some explaining tools, others helping them to wash, and the remainder making sure nothing would sicken him.

It took him a minute to realize he was in a hospital tent. He saw a reflective instrument beside him, and reached for it before anyone could stop him.

He looked at his face for a solid beat before blacking out.

* * *

Field Commander Hermisia Septus pushed past some of her still shocked troops as she made her way to her daughter Juveana as they watched some unneeded medics walk out. Humans were better at tending to their own, and with their supplies the human inside had a better chance.

She stopped at Juveana's shoulder, before gripping it softly. She turned and locked eyes with her Mother. Hermisia clapped her mandibles shut as she beheld her only daughter's face. So much like the Father she would never see and now so very much like hers. Her eyes had seemed to dim and her entire posture seemed to be held up by her will alone.

She looked at the right side of her face and saw something peculiar. It was a hand print, a human hand print. It was a much more vibrant shade of red than their own clan markings and made her realize that this human meant more to her child than she realized.

Spirits, he meant so much to them all. Not only had he saved Juveana's life, and countless others of her soldiers. He had saved hers.

They were meeting in the stretch of land between their two forces to discuss a ceasefire and lay the ground work for a treaty, all before the Council had even begun to consider acting to stop this skirmish. She was surprised when he ran forward and shoved her hard enough to back step several paces, before he dove onto the ground and threw an abandoned mine from a prior conflict clear of the party.

He had managed to hurl it a fair distance, but not far enough to escape injury from the blast. It had severely burned his face and they all had thought he'd died, until a human raced forward and knelt down beside him. He felt along his neck, before turning and calling out for a stretcher. This propelled others of his kind forward and they began to treat him. She actually saw several of her own soldiers shuffle their feet, as if they wanted to help this one being, but were either held back by her stare or simply knowing they wouldn't help with their lack of knowledge.

She wasn't even sure how it was possible for one to have such an effect on the many. She was still trying to piece that together as she volunteered her medical unit to the humans and pointed the way for them. Which brought them to now.

She gently tapped her forehead against Juveana's.

"Mom, please."

She looked into her eyes, wishing more than anything she could light that gleam in them again. But that would only truly happen if this human, Private Gary Vincent, lived.

'May the Spirits, and the Human's God please find enough favor to do just that.'

She silently prayed as a lone shooting star streaked across what had once been the epicenter of a raging conflict, but was now silently waiting and praying for one soul to live.


	4. In Space II

Garrus sat numbly in the CO's cabin aboard the Normandy as he absently cleaned his pistol. His arms worked on autopilot as he remained trapped inside his memories. Happy times; remembering her smile, her eyes, her laugh. They seemed to keep playing on in his mind in an endless waltz of self inflicted torture.

He didn't remember much of what happened after the Normandy had extracted him and the others. He tried to follow after her as her hand left his cheek but Ashley held him close and dragged him back to the medical bay.

He immediately tried to surge forward as she set him down, but she slammed him back down just as swiftly. He tried again to move, his adrenaline was in high gear and he had to be at her side because damn it who else was going to watch her?

That's when he felt the Normandy twitch and go into FTL mode.

'No!'

His brain was screaming at him, even though his body was so badly banged up, it complied to move.

'Get up! I said get up damn you!'

His mind was a little foggy on who, or what happened next so he'd differed to the security feed of med bay. It felt as though he was watching some violent animal thrashing about trying to get loose as the oddball mix of the Normandy crew tried to lay him back on the med table.

No matter how many times he'd watched and reviewed this feed, the next part was always crystal clear, and forever seared into his mind; Dr. Chakwas had very nimbly maneuvered an injector and slammed it right into his artery as the Normandy fully engaged FTL and made space tracks away from the Crucible.

Here he was confused. In his mind, he remembered clearly falling asleep and whispering her name while reaching out for her, while in the feed it showed him yell at the top of his voice for the whole ship to hear above the encroaching roar of the Crucible firing, just as the injector made purchase.

"JANE!"

When he'd woken up, restrained to the table no less, Karin sealed the door with her own private code, poured three glasses of Serrice Ice Brandy, and told him everything.

Jane Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy and those who lived in it several times over, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz, the first human Spectre in all the Milky Way Galaxy, a Paragon of duty, his heart and soul, was gone to the stars.

Karin knocked back her glass, while the best Garrus could do was nurse his and clink Jane's.

'See you at the bar.'

Garrus looked down at his pistol all clean, all assembled, and all armed.

He felt his talon ghost over the finish softly as her smile and voice came ringing so clearly in his ears he thought she was right there with him.  
He wasn't even aware he'd raised the pistol up under his mouth until he caught a flash from her terminal.

It was then that he caught his reflection, and slowly lowered the sidearm, feeling his arm shake as he dropped it harmlessly on the bedding beside him.

She'd made him promise and here he was about to FAIL that promise to her.

Garrus felt a myriad of emotions swirling around in his gut; anger, pain, guilt. Oh so much guilt. He would've bellowed out again for the entire ship to hear if he didn't see the flash from the terminal again.

Controlling his breathing he got up and walked over to her terminal before tapping it on and entering the password they had both shared after the Collector assault.

He froze mid keystroke as what was now a horribly bittersweet dream echo in the hollow canyon of his mind.

He breathed in deep again as the image of Jane spinning the tiny Turian girl in her arms made him pause for just a moment, before he calmly pushed it aside for later and finished entering the password.

"Hello Garrus."

The voice surprised him at first, until the video came into focus and there she was again. Right in front of him. He actually reached out before he mentally pinched himself and pulled away as the recording continued.

"I know that if you're seeing this I didn't make it."

She took in a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair before looking up again.

"I have so much I want to say, but I hardly know the words or if there are any that'll tell you how I feel about those dreams we had."

He actually narrowed his eyes at the recording. He hadn't told her about his dream, so did that mean?

"Oh don't you dare sit there and tell me you didn't picture what life would be like after this hell was over."

She glanced down before returning her attention to him again, almost embarrassed and shy.

"You would make a good Daddy, Garrus. I'd have been the most privileged woman in the galaxy to know that my child's Dad was you."

This time he DID reach out and trace her cheek as he murmured softly.

"No, I'd be the privileged one Jane. Me and our children."

She seemed to smile up in a shy, wobbly fashion as the first tears trailed down her cheeks.

"It's not fair Garrus. IT'S NOT FAIR!"

She pounded the desk hard and he could hear her sobs even as she tried to smother them by hunching over the desk.

"Oh Jane."

He cooed softly as he made to stroke her hair like before.

As though reacting to the touch, she immediately ceased and became silent, before peeking up over her arms.

"Is it selfish of me to say that I liked the idea of moving away to somewhere warm and seeing if biology might work just once for us?"

She sat up and looked down again, before shaking her head softly. Then she laughed and leaned back, giving him a perfect image of her body in the same tank top as the Collector run. Ah the memories he'd come to associate with that piece of fabric.

He had to admit, whatever human had made it more than earned their credits making it in his opinion. After all the times he'd almost torn it off her and it was still able to be used for wear, he'd have given that person a raise even as he cursed their name.

He paused for a moment at the unwanted light fluttering in his stomach.

At first he wanted to angrily shove it aside, but he stopped and focused on Jane, and like a seed in rich earth that light took root.

He almost missed what she said next.

"-wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl?"

He felt his heart stop and shakily reversed the recording just after her face filled the screen again, her face framing a loving smile.

"Of course I should say; see if biology will work AGAIN. Can't let our little one be all alone out here."

Her smile broadened as she rubbed her still flat stomach before looking up to him with wide wondering eyes.

"I wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl? Maybe twins?"

She bit her lip as she resumed rubbing her stomach.

"I'm sorry Garrus, I wanted to tell you, but the timing just wasn't right."

Garrus was on his feet staring down in shock.

Jane was pregnant? With his child?

He was about to say something to the recording when it cut him off.

"Garrus. It was my choice. Every night when we were out gathering our allies for the final fight, I kept wanting to take you and the Normandy and just let the Reapers have the galaxy. But I couldn't. Not with the nightmares."

She gripped her stomach fiercely as she leveled furious eyes to him.

"Every night I dreamt our child would be taken. Ripped from my arms with you dying at my feet and Husks swarming around us. I was not going to subject others to that and you know it Garrus Vakarian!"

Garrus actually fell back beside the toppled chair in shock as the recording glared at him with enough heat that he felt it on his scales. Damn! What a woman! He smiled weakly, that's how they were. She was his calm, and he was hers when she exploded in fury that would make Wrex proud.

Garrus set up the chair and sat down again as the recording drew to a close.

"I'm going to make you promise me something Vakarian. If this all does end, and I'm not there to tell you this news then live. Please Garrus, promise me that. You have so much more than you realize. Please my love, live."

She set a gentle hand on her stomach as she reached out to touch the screen with her other.

"For all three of us, please, live."

Garrus's hand slowly reached up and pressed against hers.

"I will."

He promised quietly, as the thick atmosphere that had been in the cabin dissipated, and a cleaner fresher one took its place.


End file.
